Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Soul Food.

I don't understand why as the current 'youth' of today, (I use the term mildly as I am in my mid 20's) that we spend so much of our lives trying to bare our souls to the internet. Why do we feel the need to appear to be 'cool' or 'relevant' just to gain followers.
We are all guilty of it, and I'm certainly not an innocent party. Since particular recent changes in my life I've definitely been posting more and not about anything worth knowing about, mainly pictures of my face that have been through about 4 filters on afterlight.
It got my thinking, what do we know about the people that we do follow, and what do you think your personal expense is every time you post something? I of course respect and support the people I know that are the very confident body type sur le internet, and I've always wondered what they gain from it. Not in a judgmental way, more curiosity. However if I had a smoking hot booty like a lot of them i'm sure i'd have at least one picture of it circulating.
I don't have that many followers in comparison to a lot of people, but yet I don't post anything that's popular on the internet. I'm not a model, or a tattoo artist or a photographer, I'm not in a band or spreading any PMA 'I'm a good person here's a life quote I stole' crap, yet I still feel like i'm projecting some false sense of self. It's true that people only see what you show them, and if you're only showing them what you believe that they want to see, do you then in turn become the lie for caring so much?
Personally I am a fan of a picture of my face if I like my makeup that day or am feeling good about myself, but I don't often post about the actual things that I do enjoy, other than albums that I am possibly listening to at the time.
So I thought I would let you know the things that I am interested in, in case one day you were wondering who I actually am beyond the projection of superficial narcissism.
Other than my Dad, the only other true male loves of my life are Alice Cooper and The Rock.
I have a tendency to make most conversations I have quite morbid. I am really interested in death and how people die, which probably comes from loosing people from a very early age, as a youngun, understanding it made coping with it a lot easier. I guess that goes hand in hand with the supernatural, in folk lore and in real life. I don't expect everyone to believe in ghosts, until you experience something. I'm quite aware of things around me in that respect. My house currently has a resident ghost that I've been calling Jeff as I think it goes with his creepy demeanor. The first time I saw him was upstairs in my lounge and he'd been staying downstairs around my kitchen and hallway area but since Arabella's dad has moved out hes been making himself known a lot more upstairs again, which i'm not so happy about.
Not that I ever do it, but I can pretty much find my way around any type of needle craft pretty well, however saying that I have ordered some hoops to start doing embroidery again.
I write for at least an hour a day, and carry around a journal at all times in case I think of something. I'm currently writing, well curating a book of my poems that I'm going to try and get published.
When describing my style I don't think anyone would ever describe me as feminine or provocative. I will never be the type of parent that solely shops in per una and joules whilst jogging around the park with my pram and disgruntled toddler. I wear what I think looks good at the time, which is usually a baggy shirt, jeans and trainers or boots. I don't try and impress other people aesthetically, I enjoy make up but that's mainly for myself.
I am a huge romantic to the point that I have in my mind an ideal person that doesn't exist and has probably been forged from reading too much poetry. I have ended serious relationships because I'm not happy with the lack of romance and passion that I want from something or someone and I have little to no patience with games that people play with each other, if you like someone just tell them and go from there instead of trying to see how long you can ignore the other to see how interested they are. I find it very calculated and even in platonic relationships, I have no interest in it.
See these are just a few bits of information about myself that really are not that interesting. I'm even reading it back now and it just reiterates to myself what an awkward nerd I am that would rather be sat watching Interview with a vampire or Romeo + Juliet on repeat than actually doing anything of common interest.
My point is that you never really know anybody from just seeing what they put on the internet and no matter how great their lives seem to be they are probably sat weeping at x factor like the rest of us on a Saturday night, waiting for the person they like to respond to them whilst going through Instagram wishing we had the stamina to do a squat challenge.
Maybe we should all be doing things that gives ourselves a bit more soul food instead of trying to feed everyone else's appetite.

Here's my favourite song of all time, that actually been my favourite song since I was about 6 according to my Father, which I only really ever understood and resonated with in later life. Things always go in cycles.

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1 comment

  1. Hi you! Thanks for this - it has actually changed my attitude to you. That is because the stuff you shared here resonates more deeply than what I get via your Instagram feed. But I think ultimately that says more about me than you - what conclusions was I drawing based purely on pictures you post? Reading your words is far more useful and productive. I shall be an avid follower 💙


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